In a second from now...

In a second from now
The fog will feel like the taste you smell
You'll regret the spell, our years
I'll affirm your fears.

In a second from now
Your sparkling eye, like a dancing Christmas tree ball
Will fall from the height of the pedestal you put me on.

In a second from now
Your curled lip, your moistened smile
Like a naked moon will fade in a black frown
Like the clamoring clown you made me.

In a second from now
You'll know the last chance has surpassed, and its time
I've plucked up my courage, my youth, and this line...

In a second from now
The fog will feel like the taste you smell
You'll regret the spell, our years
I'll affirm your fears - and say goodbye.


----Written with love, in January 2012 at the start of some courageous changes in my life. 
Life is too short to live it half baked.----

Delight that we have met

Within these walls

And halls, of valleys ride

Glimpses of our soles collide

Aligned, whose fair perplex

Complex, yet simple nature

Must have whispered in my angels ear

And delivered my salty steaming gleaming tear.

Where upon my angels lay

They planned, connived, contrived

Our meet, to entice my heart for you

To greet, and whilst you may not believe in fate

You are your master of your own gait.

My angels came to me last night

To tell me of their deep delight,

That we have met.

The girl

Remember the girl with wistful filled eyes
Who waited and waited on your consent
How she met your refusal.
How she longed for approval.

She heard your threats,
And believed your lies
You who planned her ardent demise.

Remember the girl with the downcast eye
Remember how she’d run to her room to cry
How she tried, and tried to win your support
How she wanted rapport.

She heard your threats,
And believed your lies
You who planned her ardent demise.

Now see the woman,
Oh how she has grown
Beyond your threats, beyond your lies
She’s the one with light filled eyes.

See the woman with love in her heart
She’s conquered her fear
Which you had deprived
No longer a victim. She has survived

Lost keys

Keys lost
Amongst this frost
Hickup, burp and pardon
I cant sleep in the garden!

Tis too early to find the shops
Tis too late to call the cops
Perhaps I’ll break the door
Or sleep in the garage floor

I’m sure I saw a dead spider
But then again, there is more cider…
My stomach’s groaning I need food!
I cant wake people up – it’s rude!

Must find keys
To let me in
Need my toast and a warm tea
Plus now I need a pee!

Cleanse you

Not entirely happy with this one... another work-in-progress:

Wistful within a gin filled glass
To find a cure for your disease
Or find the cloth to cleanse your pain
A potion for your heart
To cleanse the clummy sticky mess
Undo the knot within excess
And free the dirty stress
That attached itself within your heart
Entwined it’s way through the barbs I left
Clinging to your walls and surface
Of what at last may once will be clean
And sparkling warm and filled
With my own reflection thrilled.

Balance

I'm not entirely happy with this one... work in progress I guess:

-
I know what is looming for this crystal glass
Posed on the surfaced, wavering breath
It weeps of the liquid that’s in it
Hanging onto it’s edge
It turns in slow motion
Short distance to harm
Twists through its fall
The un-calm after storm.

The Unread

-
Unread words
Appear here
Some to do with you
Yet unread, disregarded
Not of any use
Pointless, endless numbness
Thoughts strung together here
One by one, retarded
Remain unread, discarded.

Left Behind

-
You took me in the deep end
So your soul be paired with mine
To help you tread the waters
And shine you till you shine

The water dark and hasty
Unforgiving at the brim
Below the silver lining calm
And alas you pulled me in

Still water filled with specs
As if made of fallen stars
Fasten all my senses still
And blur the re-occurring scars

Water filled with echoes
Of my beating knowing heart
Cotton filled my ears to deafness
Too dry to words impart

Amongst the choking stillness
Separated from your waiting gown
You commence upon ascending
And leave me there to drown.

Too busy

Don’t say that you’ve been busy
Don’t tell me you have other plans
Your words slowly break me
And pick on my vital glands.

You tell me you are broken
You tell me you’re unfair
I say that you are cared for
I whisper how your soul is rare.

I’d remind you through all ticking
Of how scarce it is to find
A heart that bleeds and tenders
Despite our lonely bind.

And as I want to tell you
And as your grief I want to ease
You tell me you are busy
And you have other plans .

Would you tell me?

Would you tell me
If you were hurt, and bleeding
Would you let me nurse you
If someone cut you deep
Would you let me wipe away the hurt
Would I cause you disconcert

If by your side I’d want to be
If someone bruised you
Or scared your skin
Would you tell me
Would you let me share your pain
Will you let me burden and attain

The route of all your woes
The source of your graze
To hold your heart in my comforting hand
And cradle you to peace
Would you give me this, my sweet
And tell me?

Unrelenting Time

I'd like to scrub away the years
I'd like to dismiss all my fears
I'd like to think it all just fine
I'd like the answer in my wine.

I want to think me young once more
I want to find me at the door
I want the map of life in purse
I want the route of faith not curse.

I wish the clock didn't tick so fast
I wish the moments were slow to pass
I wish I had some time once more
I wish I had known me to the core.

If only my skin would fit me better
If only I knew the next verse and letter
If only then I'd knew today would come
I'd have danced, and drank and partied some.

With a backward glance and a forward stare
I'd like to see me standing true and fair.

Destination Fate

I changed my destination
I got off this train too late
Unseen signs forgotten destination fate.

The warden tried to tell me
In a groany husky voice
I had the wrong ticket
There was another choice.

Unspoken voices now seem clear
Unsaid the truth now here
At this wrongful destination
Return my train no fear.

More luggage gathered near me
Make my body bleed
call the warden for assistance
Deliver me to creed.

Renew my ticket,
take me back
To the unstopped destination
With luggage warts and all
Return me to my nation.

In hope this train still stops there
That the warden'll help me out
Listen hard to the announcements
Listen to my warden shout

Short Lived

Butterfly belly
Head in clouds
Excited beats
Excited sounds

Grinning face
Gleaning eye
Crocked lip
Crocked cry

Part farewell
Damp cheek
Wave goodbye
Waving bleak

Silent room
Silent heart
Torn in two
Torn to start

Terms of Engagement

She wanted a baby
He wanted a boat
She wanted to stay
He grabbed his coat

She wanted a mortgage
He wanted to lodge
She wanted a diamond
He wanted to dodge

She talked of forever
He talked of for now
She talked of when
She talked of how

He talked of why
He said not now
She wanted to try
He started to sigh

She needed to know
He needed to go
She wanted her daydream
He woke her up.

Another Ride to Work

I have no suicidal tendencies by the way - but I had been thinking about this piece for some weeks, I like how it's turned out - let me know what you think!



Amidst the suited and skirted shadows
Of long faces, blurry eyes
Steamy paper cups and sweet croissants
Peering through the misty dew
Standing waiting for the next pew.

Glaring eyes rested on frosty tracks
Hide the years within them
Of bodies carried to and fro
Perhaps even fatalities seen
Perhaps the reason for the bloody sheen.

And as I wait and hear of the announcements
As echo through the still morning air
Bitter cold steel rail entice me in
To see the secrets of another’s’ fate
And see if the last breath would love or hate.

And as my body the rails may touch
Would I hear my bones collapse
And crackle beneath relentless gushing weight
Would my skin tear as if of paper
And the track act as knife or blunt grater

What would my hasty dying thought ensue
What of joy and what of sorrow
Unveiling minds mystery that I now dwell
As truth or lies behind my dying eyes
What words would find my cries.

And of the last second for my scull
Would my brain set panic in
To regret the moment I fell in
And wish by body well again
Trade my breath for moment’s zen.

What would my loves and closest say
Upon heeding to this such tail
With open mouths gasps and when
My dear would hear of this sad news
And claim the window title pews.

And the suits and skirts will stand and puff
Alas, their train delayed, typing apologies in analogue
Prolonged moment deterred them
From tapping watches frayed
Gleefully twisting to see bones remained.

Of shame and sadness embrace my past
To leave alone my opportune zest
For city life and cafes’s nest
Yet not for now, as train arrives
And bundled on with my Allies.
To take yet another ride to work.

Touched

I recently started to post on forum, and have been so touched by people's responses:

http://poetsanctuary.proboards47.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=Roots&thread=70728&page=1

http://poetsanctuary.proboards47.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=Experiences&thread=52412&page=1#338489

http://poetsanctuary.proboards47.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=Roots&thread=70728&page=1#462217

Reality lies

Hidden beyond veracity blind
From solid forms and unseeing eyes
Tucked beyond the world
Of reality lies.

Behind the curtain of whispers
And unspoken secrets and told truth
Slipped though the veil of mist
Beyond faces kissed.

Quietly concealed, unrested
Yet felt as breeze on moistened skin
Or rays warming tilted faces
Tightly beating heart embraces.

Past the current day and past
Phantom within a waking thought
Beyond all that bristles can describe
Yet hears and acts on wishes cried.

World War Three

I wrote this in April 1996 - I was really into war poetry at the time (particularly Wilfred Owen). It was published in an Anthology of British Poets. Hope you like it.

We wait...
We wait...
To see discoveries fate

Will a bit of heaven fall
To see if end will come
To one and all

With our hearts filled with glee
To see who will start
Our world war three

Will our rusty badges rust
"Ban the bomb"
And cover with dust

Lads go now and line in street
Go march now with your dangerous feet
Make sure the rules you keep

Then we'll wait...
We'll wait...
To see unrighteous fate

Will winner lose or beat
Lets do it all again
And see fly the raw red meat

While mother waits
You'll obey a swine
Who put you on the deadly line

What did you learn
The first time round?
Is it peace you really found?

You who died
What did you learn?
Are your eyes still innocently wide?

Will you lie again
On the unowned place?
While vermin discovers your child like face

Will we see again
The raw and red
The flock of the newly dead

That fought so hard
To keep that spot
While nation just forgot

Did we learn or did we not
We will wait and see
If begin our world war three.

Time Encore

Pound my chest
Till it pounds no more
Rip out my heart, bring it to the fore
Open window, closed door

Heart commanded stomach ill
Salty cheeks and salty mind
From evoked days surpass
Broken pieces of my glass

Pounding on my chest is sore
Crooked lips from traces old and new
Yet mourning yesterday as tomorrow
Build a bridge upon the sorrow

Re-amend, the past is now
Restore my glass and set it right
For pounding chest wont cease no more
Wishing time encore!

My end of suffering

The final stage arrived here
The ending came, hence death
Hitherto I do not feel trapped, or worn
By my chair, chest nor form.

This bridge alone I must now cross
And leave my loves behind
But do not cry nor mourn for me
I am walking! I am pain free!

I left my prison chair alone
And my loving life and wife behind
For you all to remember dear
My words and whispers in your ear.

My unsolved riddles I take with me
Fond memories of my loved ones too
And as I now will watch over you
I can guard and save your pew.

Strong bonds, I’ll leave unbroken
Favours, wishes and promises unforgotten
Whatever we were, we are and forever be
Your kisses, words and laughs I hold with me.

And when we meet again, darling
You shall see what I have seen
And see that I have gained, no loss
When you too that bridge shall cross.



In loving memory of my stepdad Dino Costas.

Cotton Moments

Comfort found in arms familiar
Warm and cotton filled embrace
Beating unknown heart surrender
To soul not ever far away
Beat so close and then too far
Far detached when miles between
Souls united it is seen

Tip to tip display two spirits
Of two souls forever hinged
Of past becoming, future bears
To wish it still and slower passing
All the cotton moments shared
The lazy second would be blessed
Found connected spirits fest

Hours join too close together
Frozen moments fleeting past
Till un-slept morning comes at night
Broken spell of souls united
Resisting mind laid down for rest
Heart full of time that past
Head as cotton full around
From hours thirst, and conferred sound

Smile provoking dampened cheeks
Till two friends shall re-meet
Empty feeling heart alone
From past night retreated
Remaining smile yet sad for now
Farewell to heart forever dear
Keep lucid cotton moments near

The memory of you

The ghost of your body
Lives with mine
The ghost of you lives in my dreams
Where pupils tighten and release
In the air that is you
Dark corners of the mind
And brighter moments past.
Your ghost leaves me in depth
While the mind staggers gin
Pining and sick, and distant yet
It’s your absence; it’s the memory of you.

What will be will be

She took my hand
She read it brief
I will have a happy land
Far from my belief

Rosy forever I will be
Pleased in my rosy home
That I no one will have to plea
That nothing will be on loan.

My ideal for one
That I wont forever search
May my life forever wine and dine
And sadness in our home not lurch

But what will be, will be
The future will be seen
What rosey things will come of me
Bliss I search from now so keen

She left my hand all read
Happy salty cheeks belonged to me
May it be not sweet poison to me she fed
What will be will be

Waiting on you

He enters the room
And I can feel my self slipping
It can all slip away, in one moment of weakness
I defend my loneliness.

Temptation is near
to tell him all I need to hear
But it can all slip away easy
When he is so near

Alone in a crowded room
Waiting for a word or two
Waiting for my moment
Waiting on you.

Temptation is so near
Yet now seems so far
May I blend in the back
So he’ll notice from afar

My heart's pounding
Waiting on you
Temptation is near
I’m still waiting for you.

I'm not worth it

Don’t ever cry for me,
don’t even try for me
as I waste away I’m not free

Don’t ever stay for me,
don’t ever pray for me
as its not worth it, you see

Don’t ever talk to me,
don’t ever walk to me,
just let me be.

To our God-Daughter at Christmas

To our God-Daughter
On her 1st Christmas day
May you have lots of cheer
And lots of play


For this is your 1st Christmas
Which you’ll spend with us
You’ll get lots of kisses
And lots of fuss.


You’ll wear your pretty red dress
That we bought for you
You’ll look so pretty
Now would we lie to you?


Little Mellisa, you little baby
We hope you’ll like your 1st Christmas
Lets wait and see.

The old man

The time was wrong
I should not have gone
But it was not known that a life would be thrown.

A life so special and unique
A life so sad and possibly bleak
That loved me dearly so
And had no problem to show.

The ghost now lives fair,
Lives in the old mans chair
So lonely it always seems
Without the becoming dreams.

I look upon it once more
I remember it before
So happy, his body it bore
I hope these memories will reach the shore.

My eyes now closed
He sits there posed
On his lap sits a girl
Her love for him is pearl.

So sweet and gentle was he
His bud held no bee
A man so sincere and sweet
I’ll always fall to his feet